Latest Twitter Jackassery

• Security guard: "You can't bring outside food in here." Me: "This is a service burrito" SG: Me: SG: *shuffles into doorway... about 2 months ago from Twitter Web Client
• Okay, so apparently I owed a russian troll some type of payback, for something, at some time... My shiny new instag… https://t.co/6fABpcZvTd about 3 months ago from Facebook
• I finally got an instagram page! I have absolutely NO idea what the hell I'm doing, but I managed to upload some ph… https://t.co/qrgRHhEEfS about 5 months ago from Facebook
• Hey! Marble... about 5 months ago from Facebook
• Grout day! about 5 months ago from Facebook
• Current status. I'm gonna take a nap now... about 8 months ago from Facebook
• This in NOT a post about golf. I don't golf. But it's useful (even if you do golf...) https://t.co/rMH4IiwxZ4 https://t.co/rMH4IiwxZ4 about 9 months ago from Facebook