Thank you very much for your interest in my wealth of useless knowledge. I will periodically update this particular collection of useless knowledge and will contact you, dear reader, about the brand new collection of useless knowledge, to let you know ‘we got new stuff!’ with a link to either:

  • Get the new stuff
  • Ignore it and keep your old stuff
  • Tell me to go leap off a cliff

The decision rests entirely in your hands.

So here’s your link to get the newest stuff!

If you would like to download a .zip file with the pdf manual inside, go here:

Waterproof Manual in zip folder (pdf manual inside)

If you would prefer to view the pdf online and save it from there you can do that here:

Waterproof Manual in pdf format

The pdf is kind of large if you have dial-up or a slower connection – almost 1.5 MB. So if your computer freezes for a second like it just saw Santa’s bare ass – that’s all it is.

Go download it already.

Fancy, huh? It’s in pdf format and everything, just like all them fancy suits do it. :D

If you ever have any questions or comments at all you can always contact me through the comments sections on all the posts (I answer every one – always, cause I’m just cool like that 8) ) or shoot me an email at

Keep an eye out for step-by-step manuals for each specific method. The time it took for this one your looking at receiving it right around Veteran’s Day – 2017. That may be a bit optimistic, but I’m gonna try.

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The advantage of the email subscription is that it is not entirely automated. I will only send one update per week – maximum. This is advantageous because I am inconsistent in my writing, I can only do it as time permits. You know, since I really am a tile guy and not a ‘professional blogger’, whatever the hell that is.

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Just in case you were worried about it – the FloorElf does not sell, share, trade, barter, or blackmail with your email. We hate spam too and feel that people who spam should be stuffed head first into a bucket of thinset and allowed to cure until fully set. See? Nothing to worry about.