One More Step

by Roger

You’re almost there. Due to the a overflow of strange Nigerian attorneys who really, really want to send you all your inheritance from the long lost relative you never knew existed, there is apparently a problem with unwanted emails or something called ‘spam’. Unlike the wonderful breakfast pseudo-meat this type of spam is apparently not appreciated.

So to ensure that I’m actually sending you something you really want (and let’s be honest – who doesn’t?) the powers that run the internets (no, not Al Gore) make me bug the shit out of you just to clarify.

The elves have just sent an email to the address you provided. Just click on the link inside the email and you’re all finished. This just lets us know that it is actually you signing up for this and not your drunk buddy signing you up, and it lets you know that we will not send you spam (the unwanted email, not the wonderful pseudo-meat – we might still send you that if the elves get all drunk one night and start mailing random stuff from the post office – again.)

Jayne

I’m in love with your snarkyness & jackassery. Thanks for a wonderful site. This is my 3rd small tile project but the 1st time I’ve used ditra. I have everything cut cleaned & prepped. I have a plywood sub-floor & am using modified thin-set (Permaflex 600) over plywood, then ditra. Over the ditra I’m using Tec 337 uncoupling membrane mortar. Do I need to wait to put the tile over the ditra? Also, I have 1/4 X 3/8 X 1/4 trowel and a Schluter 11/64 X 11/64. Any suggestions? This for a small 33 sq. ft. bathroom.
- Roger
  
  Hi Jayne,
  
  No need to wait, you can tile right away. Those trowels should be just fine provided they provide full coverage beneath your tile.
  - Jayne
    
    I screwed up. I used the larger trowel beneath the Ditra. I floated really hard but it looks a little wavy. Should I pull up & start over? I’m to old for this anymore (64) & I pulled something in my elbow I think my husband may have to finish this I need a beer. Any suggestions will be appreciated. Jayne
    - Roger
      
      Hi Jayne,
      
      It’s fine. You’ll need to use a little more care when setting the tile, but the wavy isn’t gonna hurt anything. Have a beer anyway. And make your husband finish it.
Inez

I only wish I had found you before I started my tiling. This is my first time. I have installed 6X24″ tiles in one of my bedrooms. Thought I would start in the back as I am planning to tile the entire house. ?? What do you think of tile throughout the house, complete? My floor is not as flat as I would like it to be but I don’t think I will take the odd planks out. My other half says they look fine, Me, well I am a perfectionist. I do want to make sure the The rest of the house is as professional looking as possible.
Thank you for the great info and the humor.
- Roger
  
  Hi Inez,
  
  Tile in an entire house is a personal choice. It’s done a lot down south in warmer climates, not so much up here where it gets very cold during the winter months.
Joe Akridge

Unreal tile web site. Thanks.
I just hope I can compete with your humor.
John

I am completely stumped, the info on websites and forums are so contradicting ! I have an acrylic shower pan with a tile flange. I wanted to use dense shield because the price is reasonable, but read many negative comments about it. Then I looked into kerdi and cannot find any info on how to waterproof the intersection to the pan. Do you have any drawings that show how to do the pan interface properly ?

I enjoy your sense of humor, so, any “cut me up” comments would be received positively :-)
- Roger
  
  Hi John,
  
  You overlap the kerdi over the vertical flange on the tub and kerdi-fix the BACK of the kerdi sheet to the front of the flange.
Kenzi

Just a quick thanks for all of the wonderful info on your site. I’ve found the answers to many of my questions here and quite a bit of humor too! I’m in the middle of a master bath remodel and this site has been amazing. Keep up the great work! I’d also like to thank you for your military service.
- Roger
  
  Thanks Kenzi!
Marty

How do u get a hole in the ceiling tiles for a light?
- Roger
  
  Here you go Marty: Cutting holes in tile
Todd

Are you the “Roger” from “American Dad!”?
- Roger
  
  Yes.
Bruce

Great website, you have convinced me that I need to learn more before I get to far into this project. Now, I want to do a traditional shower floor with rubber membrane and a liquid topical wall waterproofing using mapelastic aquadefense over cement board, which book do you recommend I buy to help me out the most?
- Roger
  
  Hey Bruce,
  
  I don’t have that one put together yet, I really need to do that. If you get the traditionally waterproofed shower floor and walls just shoot me an email and I’ll send you the topically waterproofed wall manual.
  
  The entire shower is built just like the traditional shower, except you don’t put the vapor barrier behind your cement board.
Shiloh

Thanks
Joyce

I love your portrait ! Thanks for all the great information, I am doing just as you say to make my shower stall just right! (you sure a cutie)
Hal

How lucky for me to find this site! I am going to be installing Tile and travertine in my house (too far for contracting you) and have one question about chiseled-edge travertine: Do you use a grout bag (DIY HINT: don’t point to your wife when the tile salesman asks if you have one) for grouting chiseled-edge and how best to clean up to maintain minimum grout lines?

Thanks again for taking questions,
Hal
- Roger
  
  Hey Hal,
  
  No grout bag, it’s more of a pain in the ass than it’s worth. Just grout it regularly and it just takes a little extra effort to clean it up.
Karen

Thanks for sharing all your help, advise and insight.
david

Thanks for your help! Full steam ahead.
jared coquila
jared coquila

great!!!!
Tom

Hi Roger: I’m currently on vacation and STILL spent an hour browsing your website because I like what I’m seeing and reading. I’m a handyman carpenter who’s about to install my first tile shower in my own home. I’ve been gathering info for a few months and have one big question I’m hoping you’ll help me with. When I install the waterproof membrane on the floor, what’s the best way to secure the membrane at the corners where it will want to “bunch up?” And what type of fasteners do you use…screws, roofing nails, other? Thanks for a great and informative site.
- Roger
  
  Hey Tom,
  
  You want to chisel out the corner studs to twice the thickness of your membrane fold it over like a Christmas present and tuck it in there. You can use ONE nail at the VERY TOP of the membrane to hold it if you want (I prefer duct tape, once you get the backer up it will keep it there). Any fasteners you use to hold it up need to be a minimum of three inches above the finished height of the curb and behind your water barrier on the wall.
  
  Now go have a beer – you’re on vacation ‘fer cryin’ out loud!
Ted

Thanks for all of your great help without gouging me. You kinda funny, I like your style! Do you take donations or tips?
- Roger
  
  No problem Ted. I don’t take donations, I have a full-time job and just prefer that people do things correctly, so I try to help out. If you insist on donating something I ask that any donations be made to Homes For Our Troops. It’s an organization that I donate to regularly.
Tracy

No snarkiness here. A sense of humor is much appreciated when facing the drama of a DYI. Appreciate the advice.
brian ruotolo

Thanks for the help.
Tina

Thanks
Lisa

thanks Roger! and that six pack better be cold…lol…
Lisa

Hello,

Can’t find answer to this question on the internet so far…
My husband and I are remodeling our guest bathroom. The accent tiles are on a mesh backing and are ready spaced at 1/8th in. I am willing to do 1/8 inch grout lines on the shower walls, but I prefer the floor and the shower floor to be 1/16th grout lines. He says this is NOT done and would look funny. (I think he just doesn’t want the extra time to get the grout into the 1/16th inch spaces).
- Roger
  
  Hi Lisa,
  
  I do it all the time. I always use 1/16″ grout lines in my wall tile, very few mosaics have grout that small. You win – he owes you a six pack.
dci

need help with granite tile countertop-
can i apply motar directly to drywall for the backsplash application?
- Roger
  
  Hi dci,
  
  Yes, you can install directly to drywall (with thinset) on a backsplash.
DanJapan

Thanks for the awesome site. I’ve been reading up in preparation for my first tile project. We bought over 3000 tiles at HEATH Ceramics in SF and had them shipped to Japan. Luckily nothing broke. I’ll be starting tiling the bathroom and lavatory shortly.
- Roger
  
  Hey Dan,
  
  Good luck! If you have any questions I’ll be right here.