I wanna use that fancy waterproof paint stuff but I don’t know what the hell I’m doing!

So you’ve decided to build your shower using the liquid topical waterproofing method – products such as RedGard, Hydroban, Aquadefense or any other elastomeric liquid membrane? (If you don’t know what the hell I just typed you should begin with our free shower waterproofing manual.)

Good choice – done right, liquid waterproofing is fast, reliable and bombproof. I’ve been building showers for over 23 years. Properly. That last word matters more than you’d think.

What the hell am I actually buying?

Two things. And the second one didn’t exist until now.

1. The complete liquid waterproofing instruction manual. The entire process from bare wall studs to a completely waterproofed shower wall and floor substrate ready for whatever tile design you desire – from building your walls and mud deck to installing the drain and rolling on the membrane, conforming to TCA and ANSI building standards without you needing to know what those are. Fully updated for current products and methods.

2. The FloorElf Shower Assistant. Brand new, included free with the manual. It’s a step-by-step digital walkthrough that lives on your phone – which is handy, because your phone is in the shower with you and this manual isn’t (please don’t roll on RedGard with one hand while holding a PDF in the other).

The assistant walks you through your build one step at a time, in order, with a confirmation checkpoint at each step – so you physically cannot get to step 14 having skipped step 9. Skipping step 9 is how showers leak. It’s the manual converted into a working companion that stands in the shower with you. No app store, no downloads, no account – it just works on your phone.

“Can’t I just ask ChatGPT?”

Sure you can! And it’ll give you a confident, professional-sounding answer in two seconds. Here’s the problem: confident and correct are not the same thing. AI has read every forum post ever written about showers – including all the ones that are dead wrong, written by people trying to cash in on something they know nothing about. It can’t tell the difference. It’s never stood in a shower. It’s never torn one out and seen exactly which shortcut caused it.

I have. For 23 years. Thousands of showers.

And here’s the part that actually matters: when you buy this manual, you get me. Not a chatbot, not a support ticket system – me. Ask me anything about your build and I will answer it, personally, like I’ve been doing on this site since 2008. Not sure how many coats your RedGard needs, or whether it’s cured enough to flood test? Ask. An AI will guess at your shower. I’ll actually answer for it.

If I’m gonna give you my money I wanna know what I’m buying!

Descriptions and instructions of the entire process from beginning to end including:

• Over 52,474 photos! (That’s a lie – there aren’t that many. But there are a lot…)
• Over 16,792 graphics! (Another lie – there aren’t that many of those either…)
• Professional, highly detailed descriptive graphics (Lie! Roger’s photoshop skills suck…)
• Materials and tools checklist (True)
• Order of events checklist (so you don’t miss anything) (Also true)
• The FloorElf Shower Assistant – step-by-step guided walkthrough on your phone (True, and new!)
• Direct, personal answers from me whenever you get stuck (True – since 2008)
• Great humor! (Pure, unadulterated BS – it’s horrible humor.)

What the hell are you gonna teach me that I don’t already know?

• How to properly mix deck mud, and the easiest way to do it
• The easiest way to cut cement backerboards and the methods I use
• How to do the Samba! (That’s a lie – I don’t dance)
• How to flatten your wall framing for a professional installation
• A crash course in shower floor math. (Like ‘new’ math – but you’ll actually use it)
• How to choose the proper liquid for your application
• What negative hydrostatic pressure is, and why it’s bad – in 30 seconds. Really.
• How to properly whip out obscure sitcom references
• The PROPER way to waterproof a shower substrate

Why do I need this from YOU?

Have you tried to research how to build a proper substrate for tile and found conflicting, inadequate or misleading information? I’m not surprised – the internet is full of it. (That sentence could stand alone without reference to the previous…) That’s the reason I began this website. And now AI tools have read all of that misleading information and will repeat it back to you with total confidence.

I will teach you the proper way to build your shower. I can do that because I’ve been doing it PROPERLY for over 23 years. Would you ask your auto mechanic how to knit a sweater? Of course not! Don’t ask a professional ‘writer’ – or a chatbot – how to build a shower. Ask a professional tile contractor.

When finished you’ll have a properly constructed shower conforming to TCA and ANSI standards. It will outlast and outperform any normal ‘DIY’ shower you’ll see, beat it up, AND take its lunch money! It will last until you get tired of the tile design – and will never leak.

How do I give you my hard-earned cash? And how much is the damn thing, anyway?

• $53 Million dollars! (That’s a lie – the manual AND the assistant together are only $19.95)

Just click the button below to go get it. As soon as you make payment the elves will instantly send you an email with your download link and your assistant access. You can be reading (and tapping) in less than five minutes. Pay with any credit or debit card, or PayPal if you prefer – whichever is easiest for you. Quick and totally painless, I promise.

$19.95 – manual + assistant + me answering your questions.

Didn’t anybody ever tell you there needs to be a ‘p.s.’?

P.S. People always ask if I’m worried that AI will replace me. Buddy, I’ve spent 23 years fixing showers that were built by overconfident things that don’t read instructions. AI doesn’t scare me a bit.

P.P.S. Oh – and mine’s bigger. It’s 155 pages.

You can now get this manual with TileTips!

You can now purchase this manual with our TileTips booklet and save some dough! If you order both you’ll get TileTips for just five bucks – go get a six-pack! Just click the link below and you can download both in one handy zip folder. Just trying to make your life easier…

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