Flawed
Contrary to what regular readers of my blog may believe this is not a page about my personality. This is a page with photos of improper tile installations. Please do not make the same mistakes. At the bottom of this page you will find information about, well, this page and how it came about.
If you have arrived at this page without searching for something akin to ’tile butchery’ please realize these are not correct installation procedures! The captions beneath the photos are my smart-ass remarks – they are not serious advice. 
It is simply how I tear out crap like this without my head exploding. I’m certain by now this is a very long page – don’t worry, it’ll be like a train wreck – you just can’t stop looking.
And I made ‘em big – real big. Hey, don’t complain! I’m the one that had to tear all this crap out. I did it so you can partake in the full glory of what happens when your contractor either doesn’t know better or just doesn’t care. If you’re warped like me you can click on each image for a very, very large version of each photo.
This is why I have Guedo. 
Enjoy.
1. Incorrect substrate for Ditra - that's not gonna stick!
2. Incorrect substrate for Ditra - See - No adhesion
3. Sloppy tile placement - spot for used razor blades I guess
4. Do not install tile while drunk!
5. Inconsistent grout lines, lippage
6. Inconsistent grout lines, lippage, not even, etc., etc...
7. Hey look! More crap work.
8. Just lousy installation, lack of detail - somebody didn't care.
9. One inch grout line against ceiling - lack of planning
10. Crap cuts around door jamb - not undercut. Just fill that in with grout.
11. Crap cuts around door jamb - just plain sloppy
12. One inch grout line under, well, half of the curb????
13. Absolutely zero coverage!
14. Half on, half off???
15. Just put those screws wherever you want
16. Just put those screws wherever you want - it'll hold
17. Seriously incorrect curb waterproofing technique
18. Pre-slope? Who needs a pre-slope? See the big hump in the middle? That's the bottom of the drain!
19. The incorrect way to seal your tub spout
20. Ummm, it won't stick - really, it won't stick
21. Why is my grout cracking? I don't get it...
22. Wood doesn't move, does it? That'll be fine...just stick the tile right to it.
23. Little bit of lippage
24. See - lippage.
25. Just go ahead and tape that down, tile doesn't need to stick there.
26. Ummm, no. It's two screws fer cryin out loud! Just remove it!
27. And still didn't get it in one piece.
28. Just go from the backerboard straight onto chipboard - it'll be fine.
29. Yup, that'll stick just fine...
30. Just cut that wherever, nobody will notice
31. Forgot to put the bolts in? Just cut it out and put 'em back.
32. Nah, the tile must be flawed. The installation is perfect.
33. Yup, just substandard tile. No reason to see what's under it...
34. I guess it will transfer the crack through - if you use straight concrete
35. That's right - straight concrete. Just say no!
36. We don't need no steeenking pre-slope. See the shiny stuff? Water...See the big hump it the middle? BOTTOM of the drain flange...
37. Must be substandard grout. Yeah, nothing wrong with the substrate...
38. Yeah see, the grout is flawed.
39. I'm tellin' ya, the grout is crap. It has nothing to do with the substrate...
40. See, all of it. Flawed. The grout, it's crap...
41. Yup, the grout, it...shit. Nevermind...
42. If you're gonna screw through the liner you may as well use pressure treated lumber
43. Yes, that is water. Sitting stagnant on the floor, beneath everything...
44. Put a lot of screws in there, make sure it doesn't fly away...
45. And yes, that is water, again - or still
46. I've aaaahhh, run out of words.
47. I chipped it out and water rushed out - seriously. It's called releasing static pressure
48. Water will never get there, don't worry about it.
49. As long as you think its sealed up tight...
50. See that space between the concrete and wall? It's full of water. Just sitting there.
51. Just nail that up there reeeeeeeeeal goooood.
52. How's it gonna rust, it's waterproof, right?
53. Just nail it up there so it doesn't fly away - get it flat
I have searched about every online thesaurus I could find for a name for this page. Nothing really seemed to fit perfectly. I call it hackery, but outside of my particular profession the depth of that word is lost. So ‘flawed’ is what I’ve decided to go with, although it barely conveys the absolute shit work you see on this page. Below I have listed some of what I’ve found, if you can think of anything better please feel free to leave it in the comments below.
I hope I haven’t ruined your dinner.
Synonyms for ‘Shit work’
- Batter
- Butcher
- Deface
- Disfigure
- Dismember
- Distort
- Lame
- Mangle
- Mar
- Mess Up
- Ravage
- Spoil
- Assault
- Clobber
- Maul
- Mutilate
- Pummel
- Ruin
- Thrash
- Damage
- Impair
- Maim
- Scar
- Smudge
- Sully
- Taint
- Tarnish
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Roger, thank you so very much for ypu wonderful site!!!! I do believe you have saved me from making a costly error, again. The first error was hirirg some jerk without checking references. Now, I am re-tiling my bathroom, myself. I have gone to “tile class” (a joke), talked with every one I know and have tried to read everything I could find on tiling. Well, I was about to start setting the tile in my tub/shower surround using the little nubs on the tiles as spacers (am using 6×6 ceramic tiles and a 4 inch accent about 2/3′s up from the tub). I have laid the tiles out several different ways, with a very small grout line to a 1/4 inch, so far I think 1/8 inch is going to be the size of my grout line. What made me go to the internet again, was the corners. Until I found your site, I had not read or been told anything about them. That problem solved, I started reading more on you site and found information about moisture barriers. The person that help me put up the backerboard said you don’t need that. Well now it looks like I will have to take it down and put up that sheet of plastic. This bathroom is a lot like the boat I used to own. The boat was a hole in the water that I just kept throwing money in, well, this bathroom is a lot like that. I am so gratefuul I came across your site, it will at least keep me from having to replace framing. I hope you continue to keep the DIY’ers, like myself, well informed. Thanks again, Mary
Hey Mary,
Thanks for the kind words! I will attempt to the best of my ability to help – bad humor and everything!
Roger, I’m a machanic in N. Nevada with 17 years experience. I have never seen a site like yours. Thank you. I’ve seen it all, but never documented it for fear of spreading the infection of the hack. Thank you for making me laugh. I’m a believer in brick curbs, kerdi, old school ultra set, single flex, and pro knee pads. Can’t recall how many yards of mortar I’ve thrown on walls, but it has always kept me in shape. Again, thank you for giving the DIY crews correct and solid info.
Hey Rick, Nice to meetcha.
Thanks for the kind words. Just trying to do my part with explaining to people why, if they do decide to hire a professional, they should do their homework. Hacks are running rampant and have multiplied in the last year-and-a-half.
If there is a bright side it’s that it gives guys like us job security, eh? 
Keep the wall mud outta your boots! You ever had a full wall slide down into your boots? squishy.
Hey
Can you tell me where it says in the manufacturers literature or any where else
that Custom’s says that it is acceptable to use Red Guard on walls
Thank You
John
Please email an answer
Hi John,
I’m not fully understanding the scope of your question. Custom does not ‘specifically’ state that it is for vertical applications but has tested the membrane elasticity and sheer strength – both of which apply directly to vertical applications. It, as other liquid membranes, are created as waterproof barriers for vertical applications and, if approved and tested as such, an acceptable waterproofing membrane for shower basins, which Redgard is.
I believe Redgard was originally produced as a crack isolation membrane and further tested for waterproofing capabilities.
I don’t know if it specifically states you can use it on walls anywhere – it’s understood and accepted but I don’t know if it’s written. Are you trying to win a bet?
very nice
keepup the good work
this is why i try to do it right the the fist time, i would not want to see any( bad shit ) i did on the web. i also try to avoid having my picture taken at walmart, i wear my carhart bibs almost every day,it is just who i am ,they are comfortable and my pants dont fall down,my wife must agree as she has bought be one for each day of the week. now i to can go around like holmes on homes and say look what this demented handler of the hammer has done and i feel good.joe
Nothin’ wrong with carhart bibs as long as you don’t wear the pink and purple tiger striped bikini top under it.
I only do that on Thursdays, by the way…