Contrary to what regular readers of my blog may believe this is not a page about my personality. This is a page with photos of improper tile installations. Please do not make the same mistakes. At the bottom of this page you will find information about, well, this page and how it came about.
If you have arrived at this page without searching for something akin to ’tile butchery’ please realize these are not correct installation procedures! The captions beneath the photos are my smart-ass remarks – they are not serious advice. It is simply how I tear out crap like this without my head exploding. I’m certain by now this is a very long page – don’t worry, it’ll be like a train wreck – you just can’t stop looking.
And I made ’em big – real big. Hey, don’t complain! I’m the one that had to tear all this crap out. I did it so you can partake in the full glory of what happens when your contractor either doesn’t know better or just doesn’t care. If you’re warped like me you can click on each image for a very, very large version of each photo.
This is why I have Guedo. Enjoy.
1. Incorrect substrate for Ditra - that's not gonna stick!
2. Incorrect substrate for Ditra - See - No adhesion
3. Sloppy tile placement - spot for used razor blades I guess
4. Do not install tile while drunk!
5. Inconsistent grout lines, lippage
6. Inconsistent grout lines, lippage, not even, etc., etc...
7. Hey look! More crap work.
8. Just lousy installation, lack of detail - somebody didn't care.
9. One inch grout line against ceiling - lack of planning
10. Crap cuts around door jamb - not undercut. Just fill that in with grout.
11. Crap cuts around door jamb - just plain sloppy
12. One inch grout line under, well, half of the curb????
13. Absolutely zero coverage!
14. Half on, half off???
15. Just put those screws wherever you want
16. Just put those screws wherever you want - it'll hold
17. Seriously incorrect curb waterproofing technique
18. Pre-slope? Who needs a pre-slope? See the big hump in the middle? That's the bottom of the drain!
19. The incorrect way to seal your tub spout
20. Ummm, it won't stick - really, it won't stick
21. Why is my grout cracking? I don't get it...
22. Wood doesn't move, does it? That'll be fine...just stick the tile right to it.
23. Little bit of lippage
24. See - lippage.
25. Just go ahead and tape that down, tile doesn't need to stick there.
26. Ummm, no. It's two screws fer cryin out loud! Just remove it!
27. And still didn't get it in one piece.
28. Just go from the backerboard straight onto chipboard - it'll be fine.
29. Yup, that'll stick just fine...
30. Just cut that wherever, nobody will notice
31. Forgot to put the bolts in? Just cut it out and put 'em back.
32. Nah, the tile must be flawed. The installation is perfect.
33. Yup, just substandard tile. No reason to see what's under it...
34. I guess it will transfer the crack through - if you use straight concrete
35. That's right - straight concrete. Just say no!
36. We don't need no steeenking pre-slope. See the shiny stuff? Water...See the big hump it the middle? BOTTOM of the drain flange...
37. Must be substandard grout. Yeah, nothing wrong with the substrate...
38. Yeah see, the grout is flawed.
39. I'm tellin' ya, the grout is crap. It has nothing to do with the substrate...
40. See, all of it. Flawed. The grout, it's crap...
41. Yup, the grout, it...shit. Nevermind...
42. If you're gonna screw through the liner you may as well use pressure treated lumber
43. Yes, that is water. Sitting stagnant on the floor, beneath everything...
44. Put a lot of screws in there, make sure it doesn't fly away...
45. And yes, that is water, again - or still
46. I've aaaahhh, run out of words.
47. I chipped it out and water rushed out - seriously. It's called releasing static pressure
48. Water will never get there, don't worry about it.
49. As long as you think its sealed up tight...
50. See that space between the concrete and wall? It's full of water. Just sitting there.
51. Just nail that up there reeeeeeeeeal goooood.
52. How's it gonna rust, it's waterproof, right?
53. Just nail it up there so it doesn't fly away - get it flat
I have searched about every online thesaurus I could find for a name for this page. Nothing really seemed to fit perfectly. I call it hackery, but outside of my particular profession the depth of that word is lost. So ‘flawed’ is what I’ve decided to go with, although it barely conveys the absolute shit work you see on this page. Below I have listed some of what I’ve found, if you can think of anything better please feel free to leave it in the comments below.
I hope I haven’t ruined your dinner.
Synonyms for ‘Shit work’
- Mess Up